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Mindsets and Outlooks

I know that after going through a tough time and coming out stronger, or even getting put into a tough situation and struggling for what feels like forever, have made me change my mindset from a positive or a negative one a million times. However, as I've grown to learn more about myself and how to find better solutions to the problems I was facing, I also learned the importance of having the right mindset and how to be more aware of mine, as well as a positive outlook.


Having an open mindset or positive outlook isn't always an easy thing, and I'm not here to make you change yours in a second, but rather talk about some things that may help you be more mindful of yours. It's not a complicated idea; if you have a negative mindset and outlook on things, your results will most likely reflect that, and if you were to be more positive and see things in a more positive way, your results would typically follow as so. Unfortunately, as easy as that is to explain, it's one of the hardest things to actually change and live by.


When I'm in a dark place, one of the hardest things that I struggle with are finding things that are positive or things to look forward to that are positive in order to help me more forward. Granted, I do have depression which makes it hard to snap me out of a bad mood or a negative head space most of the time, but I've grown stronger than my depression and am able to now find some positives. If anything, when I'm having a hard day I've found a new way to approach my internal problems, and reward myself for the things I can accomplish. If I'm having a day where it's hard to get out of bed, hard to get myself to go downstairs and socialize, and hard to do anything but lay in a ball and think about everything that is making me upset, I try and do what I can and celebrate the positive little things that I think about or accomplish.


LITTLE THINGS ARE HUGE!

This is something I emphasize a lot, and I didn't really take into consideration when I had a more negative outlook on myself and my life in general. I would look at things I did like putting my clothes away and cleaning my room and be ashamed that I didn't do the other 5 things on my list and it made me feel defeated. Now when I'm having a hard day, I lay out what I would like to accomplish, (I also do it the night before sometimes so it motivates me to get out of bed), and at the end of the day, I reflect on how my mood and motivation changed. I look at the fact that I did do something despite barely convincing myself to get out of bed that morning and it makes me look forward to what I will accomplish the next day when I said I couldn't today. I used to think little things were just little things, but now I see little things as little steps in the right direction, and little improvements that will push me to have a huge breakthrough when all the little pieces come together.


I know it's hard to have a positive mindset and outlook sometimes. There are some people you will meet who look at the world as cupcakes and rainbows, and then there will be others who see too much sugar and just the rain, but those are the people who might be reading this to learn how to change that just like you and I did and are still working on doing. You don't know what has gone on in their life to make them see things that way, and I'm sure there was a time a time you could relate to them as well.


From what I've seen and experienced, a lot of people's mindsets and outlooks come from a lot of different things like their struggles, insecurities, and opinions. When someone had such a hard time overcoming something and even thinking about it brings them back to the place that they were in, they aren't able to associate that experience with anything other than how much they struggled. I couldn't find positivity for a long time because of that, and it took understanding what I went through fully and processing my emotions to be able to talk about it all without breaking down. You will change your mindset on things and your outlook on the situations you dealt with in your own time, and that's ok! You can't force anyone into changing their mindsets or their outlooks, because just like I've mentioned in previous posts everyone processes things differently. However, you can talk to them about how you see a situation and how you have found the positives, and let them do their own internal discoveries of how they can use that to turn typically negative feelings into more positive ones, or even grow from their negative experiences.


Insecurities are difficult when it comes to turning them into something positive because they are called insecurities for a reason. You can't just tell someone "OMG stop thinking you're fat because you're not" and they'll instantly just snap out of it and never think it again because you said so. This goes for helping someone find a more positive mindset or outlook, and everyone has their reasons for feeling the way they do and you need to make sure you are respecting that. This is one thing I definitely still find myself struggling with because I know when someone tells me to not feel a certain way it makes me think about it more, and it's hard to look at myself the way that person does when I've thought a certain way for so long.


Opinions play a huge role in how you form your personal outlook and mindset on certain people and situations, and I've tried to make sure I'm more aware of how I handle when someone's opinion is different than my own. It's ok to not understand where someone is coming from or be on the same page as them, but you have to remember that everyone is allowed to have their opinion and you don't need to change your own to match theirs. I hear about this a lot of times when people say to not talk politics at the table and in all honesty, things like that are said because most of the time people don't listen to differing opinions and hop right to being on defense, which causes arguments. The fact that even having a conversation related to that topic will cause an argument gives the idea of the conversation a negative connotation, therefore it is always seen as something negative. If you feel strongly about where you stand but your opinions differ, how you decide to share yours will dictate the impression it leaves, and possibly help them to see more positively if that's what you were going for.


Your mindset effects your outlook, and your outlook on any situation determines the way you will feel, think, act and see the world around you. I know it's easier said than done, but try and see the positives in as many ways as you can throughout your days, and celebrate your little victories. If you're having a day where you are just barely getting yourself to do something, try and push for one more. The more often you push your self to go the extra step or read the extra chapter, learn the extra definition, walk the extra mile, or whatever it may be, you're proving to yourself that you can do the things you want to. No one else can change the way that you feel or handle things, but they can help you see things in a different and more positive light, so talk to the people you feel comfortable talking to. Heck, there's the option to swipe up on here and start a chat with me and all I can see is a visitor number so I won't even know it's you.


I know what it's like to feel like the world is after you and that there are no positives in sight, but I promise you there are. Don't turn to options that will just numb the feelings until the next time you're struggling, work on a healthier mindset with healthy alternatives that will provide more permanent solutions. They may be a little more work, but I promise you the work will pay off and it will be better than ending up in the same place over and over again. You don't need to prove to yourself how strong you are by continuing to face the same struggles and overcoming them, when you could push yourself harder and learn even more about how strong you are while helping yourself going forward.


Please reach out if you need.






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