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Counseling, therapy, and asking for help aren't bad things.

It's not, and it ain't easy either my friends. Easily put, if you're able to realize for yourself that the things you are feeling are out of your control and you need to involve someone else to help you see the full picture, that is a GOOD thing. That is one of the biggest and most monumental steps you can take in your life, and realizing that you need help doesn't make you weak, it makes you aware of yourself and it shows that you are trying to take care of yourself.


Now I'm not going to lie, when I was younger and before I got to the point where I felt I needed to go to someone else, I did see people going to therapy or counseling as an example of someone who was really messed up or someone who wanted someone else to tell them how to handle their own problems rather than them just figuring it out themselves. It makes me ashamed of myself typing that out for you now, but I'm going to be honest with the things that I've learned and the things I've grown to know the truth about, and I hope if you think the way I used to this will open your eyes and change your mind.


Think of it this way; do you consider someone who holds everything in, doesn't show how they feel, doesn't make people aware of their hard times, and/or doesn't address their problems or handle them in a way that helps them to find a solution, to be a strong person?

Or

Do you see someone who makes themselves vulnerable, addresses for themselves that they need help, and then goes on to find a way to help themselves to be a strong person?


I'd hope you would say the second choice. While I don't want this to be taken as keeping to yourself and all is a bad thing, in my experience, the longer I held things in the worse they got for me. I grew up with problems of my own which made me into someone who felt that I was better off keeping to myself and handling my problems on my own, but the more problems I faced the harder it got to keep those all inside. I started taking my feelings that I couldn't say to others out on myself which just made things worse for me in the end. Eventually when I was in high school I resorted to seeing a counselor that no one knew about because I thought I would get judged or looked at differently got wanting help. Since the counselor I had in HS I've had two others, and I understand now when people tell me it doesn't always work because until the last counselor I had I didn't feel I made any progress.


When I transferred to the school I just graduated from, I carried with me the death of my Grandpa who was my best friend, a traumatic breakup, some friend and family issues, and a super low self-esteem. At that point in time I was recovering from so much that I lost of myself due to how low I felt about myself and what I felt I deserved in the way I settled for being treated, and I needed help more than ever. I lucked out with my counselor, and she truly listened and gave me productive feedback on the conversations we had, and I even took tests to see how I had changed mentally over the course of our time together. It was amazing to me to see how when I got there I was on their radar for having numbers in the suicidal range, versus the day that I went to her for what I didn't know would be the last time since she felt I knew how to help myself on my own. I remember walking out of her office and just crying. I was so proud I felt like me and I felt like I graduated and I felt like I wasn't afraid of having a bad day or being alone because I knew myself better than I ever did before and I could handle anything that happened.

It's because of the help that I got from her and the fact that I asked for help and worked hard to get to where I am today that I'm graduated from college, and sitting here writing this for you now.


Counselors or therapists aren't the easy way out or a solution to your problems. They will listen, not take sides, and help you to work through things you may not have even noticed while suggesting ways for you to help yourself and/or your issues with others. YOU are the one opening yourself up, willing to get out what you've been holding in, and taking the steps in order to get to a healthier version of yourself so you can feel and be better and even more of yourself. So the next time someone says to you how it would be "weird" to go to a counselor, or that if you have an issue with someone you should just address it with them, step away and think about what YOU feel is right. It's not like if you go once you're stuck going forever, but if you want to give it a try, an HONEST try, do it. I lucked out and was able to go to my school counselor for free, but before that when I had to get bun certified as my ESA animal I had to pay out of pocket for a psychologist and it definitely wasn't cheap. Check out your options, see what's in your insurance, and see what you can do to help yourself. This is one of the many stigmas in our society today and I am SO INCREDIBLY THANKFUL I started listening to MYSELF and what I NEEDED because counseling and asking for help literally saved my life.


I will also put out there again that no I am not a Psychologist who can medically help you and all, but if any of you reading this need help or need more info on how to find a counselor or therapist or how to go about it, please, please reach out to me. You don't need to be at rock bottom to ask for help and take care of yourself. Please invest in yourself when you feel you need to and ask others to help you when you do.

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